This post is a direct response to accusations about me and an ensuing wall of hateful comments, thanks to a person named Neybuu Tablawalli posting about me/using my name, on their personal Facebook. This is the true story behind the public slandering and bullying I faced yesterday, not the false one that riled people up.
A few nights ago, I asked people in SISTER, the group I have dedicated myself to for the past year, to contribute, if they CAN, to a survival/compensation fund, due to the fact that it’s truly become a full time job and ALSO due to the fact that I deal with what society would label SEVERE cognitive disability/neurodivergence, which causes endless real life problems when it comes to securing a consistent living, this is something anyone can research. My situation isn’t a joke or a game, my original post was not a ruse to scam people for money or threaten anyone. I actually do have this problem. It is not normal for an adult. It’s real and there are thousands of people in the world like this with the same very, very real situation. I was never trying to hold this collective ransom for money. That was completely made up, and I have no idea why. I asked people to give if they could, what they could. Many members from around the world commented supportively, many asked for my Paypal or Venmo, within a day. Thats not a group of strangers I’m trying to steal from, those are obviously people who CARE about me and were willing to help because they understand the amount of work and love I put into this, not because they are scared I will take away the platform. I never said I’d leave if not paid. What I DID say is that if this doesn’t work out, I’m going to have to train someone else because at my age, I can no longer do this job if it is not helping me eat. I would NEVER get rid of Sister or threaten the members of my own group. That was genuinely, completely made up. I don’t know why. It has nothing to do with what I actually said. I deleted it and her immediately, before reposting her statement and asking who she was, because what she said to and about me was blatantly off base/inaccurate, and I was also not in an emotional space at the time to be political about it and leave it there. I’m human.
My struggle to survive and attempt to reach out for help, to people I have helped with what I do, is not to be shamed or made fun of or made out to be some kind of scam. It’s real as fuck, and people overwhelmingly responded empathetically and supportively to it. I asked for help if people CAN, not threatened to remove the group if people can’t. I didn’t even announce my paypal or venmo in the group, although MAD people asked for it. I don’t want people to send me all this money, I just want the work I do to help me survive because I don’t have any other options right now and I believe I shouldn’t remain in this situation if people care enough to help. So I figured, a bunch of people giving a tiny amount for a Patreon, a dollar to 3 dollars a month from those that are able, would help me make it through and ensure that I can keep doing this work. Other people get booked in SISTER far more than I do,tbh. It’s a real, global network that has indirectly lead to earnings and collaboration opportunities for many people. My efforts actually do seem to have real life value to other people, which is why so many members were so down to help, so quickly. But there was no mention of that, and the people commenting on her status also didn’t know that.
Also, labors of love shouldn’t be compensated? Why is that? Who is anyone to tell someone else that? People were more than willing to help and give, because I have helped and given a lot. Also…I am so much more than a ‘moderator’. There are several busy inboxes to take care of, a 1200 member group to administrate, several active social media platforms for promoting member’s work and events, constant presence in the group making connections between people and creating a positive supportive vibe, adding new members I meet in the world and online and helping them feel welcome and comfortable, helping people start their events in other cities, overseeing the development of things like logos, our website and merchandise, throwing the sister event in NY, speaking on Panels about us, creating and keeping track of resources like our Sisterbook Database, passing on information I find about opportunities, overseeing big projects like our upcoming Compilation (handling submissions, choosing songs/tracklist, finding engineering, artwork, and working on press + release events), working to create a showcase at a major festival for sisters to play at and hang out at, writing and updating things like decks, press kits and mission statement, doing interviews in press about the collective to get the word out about who we are, working on the actual organizational structure of SISTER so we can become a non profit with a board of directors, researching grants and sponsorship options in order to bring more resources into the group, starting conversations about various issues we face in this industry, planning an outreach to larger platforms in order to link Sister with a bigger entity, all of this in order to benefit more people around the world, all of this to widen the scope of this rapidly growing thing, which I didn’t even see coming. I do SO much. It’s crazy to read a hate status and so many comments about me trying to ‘monetize’ or ‘capitalize off people’ when I do all this for this group and for everyone in it, am simply trying to make a difference, and am only asking for help out of fucking desperation and true, real need. I just want to eat and live somewhere, and make it so that what I do for others actually helps me do that, since I actually struggle to feed and house myself to a degree and to an extent that the majority of neurotypical people my age cannot relate to, and to shame someone for that is fucked up.
If you commented on Neybuu ‘s status in support and we know each other, feel free to judge, unfriend or block me. But first, realize she actually did lie to people about the entire context of what I was asking for. When she came out of nowhere, I had just received an outpouring of love and support because people see and understand the amount of LABOR I put into SISTER and some were willing to put a tiny bit a month towards helping me keep something running which THEY benefit from. Why don’t I have the right to ask for a dime of compensation or support? Why should I have to stay in the fucked up position I’m in when clearly so many people around the world benefit from the space? If it wasn’t truly a labor of love I would not have have been busting my ass for a year running it with not ONE mention of struggles to afford life. I reached out because I am backed into a fucking corner right now and in my original, misrepresented post, that was completely obvious. I need food, I need support, and I struggle intensely with money, I don’t mean in a casual way, like your average young adult. I mean I am fucking incapable of pulling in money consistently for basic survival and have ALWAYS been, for my entire adulthood. People with brains like mine, their family often has to support and rally around them. If not, they tend to be on disability, or else they must design alternative non traditional incomes for themselves. I have one sister to help me, who is also struggling. This person had people shaming someone who REALLY doesn’t deserve it at all. Everyone, deep down, wants to be able to do what they feel is a mission in their life, what their heart calls to them to do, and have that feed them. Everyone. I just had the guts to outright ask for support from the people who benefit from and care about what I do, and really try to make that happen.
She took my desire to create a less hopeless situation for myself, twisted it around, and had people who’ve never met me and don’t know me accusing me of trying to capitalize off others when I do nothing but give in there. When I’m just trying to help myself EAT and save towards getting my own place. I’m not trying to get money off people for fun or as a scheme, I’m trying to scrape together enough so I can run this group and help empower and connect people marginalized in this industry all around the world since this shit means the world to me, without worrying about losing weight or what will happen if my sisters landlord get sick of my presence. Neybuu and all the commenters don’t know what I’ve been through trying to support myself. They have not the slightest idea.
Also in the OP, she was a little too ready to offer to take over the group in which case she would ‘vow not to charge people’, which I never said I would…meanwhile, she barely ever participated in this collective…. until now….. I don’t remember having seen her post in the group…. It makes no sense. This is not just a group of people chatting on a FB page, this is a large scale, multifaceted platform/network with a LOT of moving parts to it, so much of my intellectual and emotional labor has gone into creating what SISTER is.
To people who commented like “it’s a public group, she doesn’t have the right to post in there’ thats also blatantly not true….. It’s a private/secret one that I’ve run for a year, and I have personal relationships with a huge number of people in it. You jumped on a bandwagon based on something that was literally NOT true, to support your friend. I can totally understand why, friends support friends. The the way she presented it sounded bad so I can’t blame you at all. But I think people have a right to know what they were actually participating in, which was bullying based on misrepresentation of someone who in absolutely no way deserves what happened. I wasn’t going to post this but I’m not going to sit here and say nothing.