by fxwrk

This was a comment I wrote on a blog written by my favorite spiritual teacher, Teal Swan, back in 2014.

Just stumbled upon it while looking through old emails. First, a quote from the blog post, then my response:

“It does not serve me to let fear bury the truth of who I am when I am in the public eye.  This is a new age that we are living in.  A time when people will come into a knowing of their own god-hood.  Conformity to an ideal, no longer serves us.  It cooks us in the furnace of self-suppression.  And I have decided that even if it kills me, I am going to lead this shift by example; knowing that when I expose myself, I give people permission to be where they are without making them wrong, unlovable or bad for it.”

-Teal Swan

Looking back, this is really beautiful to read. Personal authenticity in one person that becomes visible to millions can be more powerful than the ongoing work of a million activists doing concrete things to bring about change. The bane of modern existence, the spiritual void we feel, is related to our inability to be truly present with ourselves and our feelings. The entire matrix program of control is based upon our collective lack of integration of our shadows. the “normal” psychological profile is so strange to me. as a teen i remember thinking wow everything is fake and most people are too, then being told i have ‘social anxiety disorder’ and spending years clawing my way back to the truth. my perception has since matured but to some extent i was right. its all this repressed pain causing the world to be so full of suffering. (i think we have incredible courage, strength and bravery that is hard for the world to even comprehend at this point, but that seems to be changing quickly) but yeah…i look around and my heart hears the world SCREAMING for realness! for truth, for what really is, for whats beyond the damn facade, for that which proceeds construction or conditioning by external forces with an agenda. you demonstrate something so profound and i understand the pain it causes to go through willingly triggering yourself like that for the good of others. I remember when I decided that it was the utmost authenticity or nothing. I just saw through the bullshit so hard that I couldn’t be unreal anymore, it disgusted me and i wanted more from myself, i was being motivated and assisted by a higher purpose that had little use for my socially programmed fear response to my own true raw divine self or my fear of peoples reactions to it. regardless, the fear and shame it triggered and continues to trigger is real. better than before though. I used to have panic attacks after blog posts in which I spoke in my inherently honest and self revealing way. i have lost friends by being myself and people often don’t know what to do with me, the more i let the real me out. however, regardless of that, I grow in self love and self respect, my creativity expands exponentially in leaps and bounds and I care less and less about being accepted for being someone I am not. but you know what the most amazing thing about it is? once i really started doing authenticity as a hardcore spiritual practice (i think we started focusing on it at the same time) but yeah once i really started taking it seriously and holding myself to it, I began to…be a sort of *channel* for wisdom i didn’t even fully understand the source of…..i began to write words that *touched* people in places they forgot they ever had, a long long time ago. i began to *wake* people out of their slumber with the power behind my words. i began to attract people that could only stand in silence after I spoke that truth and gently beckoned theirs out from the places they had stuffed it in order to survive and fit in….people would randomly open up to me from such a deep and beautifully real place and I was able to catalyze intense inner shifts in them, like i had in myself….pretty much started to step into my role as a healer and so much beautiful shit blossomed as a result of the commitment to authenticity. i know i’ve touched and changed peoples lives and its not because of me in a personal sense, it because because of the magic and POWER that lies within the authenticity we’re all capable of and meant to embody but taught to fear more than anything.